If you think your spouse may be cheating, you should get some evidence before you accuse him or her. Once you have the proof, you should proceed to either a marriage counselor, if you want to save the marriage, or a divorce lawyer. If you are not sure where to begin with the process, learn how to confirm or eliminate your suspicions.
Go Online
With modern technology, it is often easy for married people to cheat because they can quickly contact other people. At the same time, it is equally easy to use technology to find proof that your spouse is cheating. The first place to start is social networking sites that you know your spouse uses. You do not have to log-in to find suspicious details since they are often out in the open. Examples include new friends of the opposite sex that you do not know, and comments on the profile that you find inappropriate.
If your relationship with your spouse is such that you can assume he or she would be honest, you can confront him or her with any questions you have. Ask who the new friend is, or what an odd comment is supposed to mean. If you get the feeling that you have caught your spouse off-guard, or if he or she refuses to explain, you likely have a right to be suspicious.
You should also check dating websites for your spouse?s name since many married people create profiles online. Your spouse might not have used the full name for the profile, so you may have to search for people in your area to find him or her. Though this can take some time, it is often worth it if you have reason to believe that your spouse has such a profile, such as if you have seen a dating website come up in the computer history.
Check Records
You are perfectly within your rights to check records of accounts you share. For example, look through phone records to see if there are any phone numbers you do not know. If the same number has been called repeatedly at times when you were away from your spouse, you may have reason to suspect an affair.
You can also check bank and credit card statements. If you see purchases that draw your suspicion, such as dinner for two, large bar tabs, or hotel rooms, you should keep these documents for your records. Again, if you currently are on good terms, you can always ask your spouse about odd purchases so you can get an explanation. In many cases, there is a good reason for purchases you did not know about, such as buying dinner for a friend or relative.
How to Proceed
If you do not feel comfortable asking your spouse about your suspicions, you should just continue to gather any evidence you can find to try to piece it all together. You should be aware that logging into accounts that are not yours may be illegal in your state, and the evidence does not always hold up in court, so try to get as much proof as possible without violating any laws. If you are unsure of whether your actions are legal, ask a lawyer.
In many cases, if you are suspecting an affair, something is not right with your relationship. If you are determined to save the marriage, you should go to marriage counseling. However, if the trust is gone or you strongly suspect that he or she is cheating, you should talk to a divorce lawyer.
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